The Devil’s Dictionary by Abrose Bierce

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Abstainer
n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
Said a man to a crapulent youth: “I thought You a total abstainer, my son.” “So I am, so I am,” said the scrapgrace caught — “But not, sir, a bigoted one.”
G.J.
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