The Devil’s Dictionary by Abrose Bierce

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Optimist
n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white. A pessimist applied to God for relief. “Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness,” said God. “No,” replied the petitioner, “I wish you to create something that would justify them.” “The world is all created,” said God, “but you have overlooked something — the mortality of the optimist.”
« Optimism · Oratory »