The Devil’s Dictionary by Abrose Bierce

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Pie
n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains.
Rev. Dr. Mucker (in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman)
Cold pie is a detestable American comestible. That’s why I’m done — or undone — So far from that dear London.
(from the headstone of a British nobleman in Kalamazoo)
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