The Devil’s Dictionary by Abrose Bierce

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Religion
n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. “What is your religion my son?” inquired the Archbishop of Rheims. “Pardon, monseigneur,” replied Rochebriant; “I am ashamed of it.” “Then why do you not become an atheist?” “Impossible! I should be ashamed of atheism.” “In that case, monsieur, you should join the Protestants.”
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